newsminer.com

$10.20, $10.30, $10.40 …

Let’s keep it under $50, I said to myself, as I watched the numbers go up on the gas pump. Let’s keep it under $50.

It’s not that my funds were limited to $49.99 and breaking the $50 barrier would have forced me into a life of crime in order to ensure that my rather thirsty Nissan Quest would be properly filled. It had more to do with the principle of the issue and the fact that I have never had to pay more than $50 for a full tank of gas at any point in my life. I’m no math genius, but I do know (after using a scientific calculator and doing a Google search) that $50 is half of $100. And paying more than half of $100 for a tank of gas just didn’t feel right.

$16, $16.10, $16.20 …

I could have bought a pizza with that amount, I thought. Heck, I could have bought a decent pizza. Just then the pump hit $20 and I realized I could have also thrown in an order of bread sticks. At that point my stomach growled. I decided that if the Gas Gods smiled upon me and kept the total price under $50 I would treat myself to a pepperoni stick or some other delicacy being offered inside the gourmet Mecca known as the local convenience store.

$20.50, $20.60, $20.70 …

Joe Hummer was parked in front of me, and he was watching his gas pump with the same type of nervous trepidation that I was. But Joe could probably only dream of a day when he could fill his Hummer for less than $50. Ask Joe to describe paradise and he would probably talk dreamily of paradise not being some world where there is no war or hungry children, but rather, a place where he could fill up his Hummer with a tank of gas AND still be able to send his kids to college someday. I considered going over to Joe Hummer to ask him if he was aware of hybrid vehicles, but I suspected he was packing heat. Plus, I wasn’t one to preach, given that a minivan isn’t exactly what one would consider an AGAV (Al Gore Approved Vehicle).

$30, $30.10, $30.20 …

That morning the amazing Lance Mackey had won the Iditarod and claimed a grand prize of $69,000 plus a Dodge truck worth more than $45,000. On the news no one asked Lance what he planned on doing with the $69,000, but I knew what exactly he was going to do with it.

Buy a year’s supply of gas for his new Dodge truck.

$40, $40.10, $40.20 …

Top Ramen, macaroni and cheese, beans and rice, air, snow … I made a list in my head of things that my family could eat that didn’t cost very much money. But it is probably only a matter of time before the cost of those items go up too. Think about it. Once the highly trained workers at the Top Ramen World Headquarters in beautiful Gambrinus, Ohio carefully package up each individual packet of Top Ramen, those packets then have to be transported out of Gambrinus to destinations around the world. Using transportation means using fuel.

I made a mental note to pitch the idea to Lance Mackey of using his dog team to operate the Top Ramen Express to deliver Top Ramen at a low cost to villages along the Iditarod trail. Sort of like the historic Serum Run, but with delicious Top Ramen instead of life-saving serum.

$48, $48.10, $48.20 …

“You can stop anytime now,” I muttered to the gas pump.

$49.20, $49.30 …

I’m serious,” I said, this time a little louder. “Stop. Right now. Stop pumping gas into my car!”

$49.70, $49.80, $49.90 …

This was not good.

$50.

Crap.

$50.50, $50.75, $51…

In front of me, Joe Hummer was punching his gas pump. Perhaps he had just crossed the $100 mark. And even though I thought Joe had to partly blame himself for making such a poor choice in vehicles, I felt bad for him. Who knows what sacrifice he had to make in order to fill his vehicle up with gas? I pictured him calling his wife on his cell phone after leaving the gas pump, telling her to not make the trip to Wal-Mart because the diapers for the baby were going to have to wait until next payday, and that he would bring some paper towels from the bathroom at the convenience store that they could use for makeshift diapers until then.

Turning my attention back to the gas pump, I decided that if the total price stayed under $55, I would still buy that pepperoni stick. In fact, I would buy two pieces. One for me and one for Joe Hummer. I would stand there with him, two guys almost $200 poorer, and I would ask him what he knew about dog mushing, because with fuel prices continuing to go up, that might be a good way to travel.