Letter to the Editor
Day of Silence
Published Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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To the editor:
My name is Ben Genaux, and I am the unofficial president of the West Valley Gay Straight Alliance (GSA). I have been reading the past articles and arguments regarding the Day of Silence and would like to make a few clarifications for those who are curious or confused.
First of all, the Day of Silence is not about persecuting anyone. On the contrary — it is about acknowledging the existence of persecution. While some communities choose to focus on the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) aspect of Day of Silence, I, among many prefer to see it as more. I see it as recognizing all minorities that have been, are, and will be harassed, bullied, raped, beaten and killed.
To quote the Day of Silence Web site, “The Day of Silence is about safer schools, tolerance and positive change.” Today, there is so much controversy about the subject of homosexuality, and so many people want to make a change one way or the other.
There will undoubtedly be conflicts, but the Day of Silence is about trying to neutralize the hate that revolves around conflict and intolerance.
I am fully supportive if people wish to have a Day of Truth, and I will respect them on that day. My only request is that the Day of Truth would promote bringing people together rather than provoking hate and misunderstanding.
Community Discussion
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Wayne Gerke is allowing DOS to happen in our public schools but is not familiar with "the day of truth". What's up with that?
Ben, I am not curious OR confused about the gay community. I accept it. But please don't try to incorporate this lifestyle by ways and means through my child's school. They are there to learn academics, not sexual orientation.
I think it's fantastic that the students are doing this, and more power to them. I think it's just the students and isn't sponsored by the schools? And that's too bad because schools are supposed to prepare students for the future and part of being successful in the workforce means knowing how to get along with all different kinds of people. In a lot of big, successful companies making a bigoted comment against any group is what's known as a "career-limiting move" and students should understand that before they go out for their first job interview.
Good on you, Ben, for seeing a need for better implementation and prevention where the school district's 'no bullying' policies are concerned.
As the parent of a child who has been bullied, thanks for recognizing that merely passing policies doesn't make the issues go away. Without consistent and persistent implementation by adults (and students' peers), the policies change very little about the problem(s).
Again, Ben, "Good on you," and "Thanks for stepping up to the proverbial plate."
It seems like these days violence in our schools is running unchecked. I see this as a non-violent show of children that want to bring bullying to the forefront and have people recognize it for what it is. Personally, I was bullied when I was in about the 4th grade. My Dad caught me backing up and backing up from a little boy that was known for how well he fought. He came out in the yard and told me, "boy, if you back up one more step, I am going to kick your butt!!" I went on to whip the tar out of the boy and never had that problem again. I wish some of these kids that were being bullied could do that as well, but in this day, who knows where that would lead, maybe to even stronger violence! Good on these students for bringing this awareness forward!!
aksmylee: "They are there to learn academics, not sexual orientation."
Applied art is not "academic". Choir is not "academic". Football is certainly not "academic". I believe that the teachers and the students of these subjects would take issue with your assertion that "They are there to learn academics". You're only partly right. School offers many lessons: some of them are taught by teachers in the classroom, and some of them are taught by the students in the halls.
Also, I don't understand in what way other students would "learn" sexual orientation. As I hear, sexual orientation is innate, not learned. And even it were learned, do you think that a day of silence, meant to call attention to the persecution of a minority group, would be enough to persuade somebody? Goodness gracious, if I became more aware of the harassment a group faced, I'd be *less* likely to want to be part of that group, not more. However, I might become more sympathetic. Is it the expansion of our sympathies that bothers you so?
I believe the FNSBSD already has a policy on harassment etc... no need for you to use a "day of silence" to promote your GSA group.
I think the DOS and the associated unbelievable response from the religious right casts a bright light on this boil that needs lancing.
How anyone could presume to dictate what someone else does with their mind and body is beyond me. Keeping quiet is a fundamental approach that asserts that basic right of self determination.
The presence of a policy has very little to do with awareness, sensitivity, or enforcement of that policy.
Policies, by themselves, are nicely bound parchment, or cheap copying paper in .20 cent folders, depending on the budget of them that wrote 'em. By themselves, they accomplish very little.
My guess is that if the 'policies' were being adequately enforced, folks wouldn't be holding a day of silence in re. to persons being bullied.
Okay Paul, Shall we call this an "elective" then? Do my children get a grade for participating on DOS? Extra-curricular activities are offered in our schools, DOS should not be one of them.
aksmylee: "Okay Paul, Shall we call this an "elective" then?"
No.
Classroom learning is only one kind of learning that goes on in schools. By "only one", I don't mean that it's unimportant; on the contrary, it is at the core of what schools do.
Children learn how to socialize in high school. They form social groups and often go on their first dates. There are no classes to teach them this. The school does not have to sponsor this activity or lend its official sanction -- it needs only not to interfere with this right.
Children also learn how to be citizens in high school (and hopefully, through all school). A government or civics class can teach them the *facts* of our political system, but for children to learn to BE citizens, they must be able to practice it on their own. They must learn that they have a right to peaceable assembly, a right to their own religious beliefs, and a right to free speech -- insofar (the Supreme Court has determined) as it doesn't disrupt the educational activity of the school.
They will learn citizenship by being allowed to BE CITIZENS -- otherwise, they will only learn to be subjects.
The school needs not offer a class in citizenship, nor form a club for it, nor "sanction" it in any way. The school must merely allow students their rights.
That the GSA is sponsoring the Day of Silence is not the real issue at hand although some seem to feel they must make it so. I think Ben (the author of this letter) tries to clarify that the Day of Silence is about the acknowledgment of persecution and that awareness is the first step to eradicate it – for all groups, for all people. What a wonderful method to employ, a non-violent, voluntary vow of silence for one day. I send kudos to the students who are organizing and participating in this event. Actions DO speak louder than words.
aksmylee, ever hear of Tinker vs Des Moines? Students have the right to protest and the right to organize. This is not sponsored by the schools, it is an initiative put on wholly by the students themselves. I'd be careful there, your homophobia is beginning to show just a bit.
It is interesting how bent out of shape people are getting over this. No one is stating that you or your children need to be silent during this day. It is hoped that you and your children will learn something on this day. It is hoped that violence in ANY form will be unacceptable one day, and a day of silence is simply a non violent and effective way to point this out. No one is stating that you need to become something different than you currently are. The instant knee jerk reaction against this day is simply sad.
The author of this letter presents a well thought out, and intelligent reason for this day. The concept that no-one deserves to be abused, beaten, raped, etc simply because of who they are is obvious to most people. Unfortunately, it is not obvious to all. It was these types of demonstration that changed the world for the better decades ago...(should we go back to having separate drinking fountains again?) and it is these types of demonstrations that will make it a better place in the future. Different is not bad, it is different. That's it.
While I love the new comment forums here on newsminer.com, I feel that a lot of people are taking comments made by (really) anyone who can sign up for a username and treating them as the gospel truth. It appears to me that lots of people made comments here based on a few letters to the editor and the responses to them, without bothering to get the facts. Now some facts are coming from the source and still people react emotionally, in part, in my opinion, because of the build-up of debate over the past few days.
Ben,
It took tremendous courage on your part to write this letter and have it publicly published, especially considering the level of bigotry that exists in this community. I commend you for taking a stand for decency and honesty. Remember that you have far more integrity than your critics. As a happily married father of two, I support you in your desire to be true to yourself. I can only hope my own children, when they reach your age, will be able to demonstrate the compassion for others that you show in this letter.
Never let the hatred of others destroy you. Let those who hate destroy themselves. Remain strong and true, and you will rise far above those who seek only to drag others down. You have a good life ahead of you.
"There will undoubtedly be conflicts, but the Day of Silence is about trying to neutralize the hate that revolves around conflict and intolerance."
After reading the posts on this subject it seems that your intentions have had the opposite effect and have caused hate and intolerance.
How many gays at West Valley or in Fairbanks have been the subject of criminal harrassment or have been injured or killed? Is this even necessary here? Or are you really trying to promote your gay agenda? Is this a ploy to get attention since society has already somewhat accepted your choice to be gay? After all isn't that why you are gay?
I had not put too much thought into this subject until the DOS was brought up and now I feel disgusted by it.
Thanks for enlightening me on the gay subject.
wthaidiak --
Good lord man! Can't you read? Can't you learn?
What the posts on here have done is EXPOSE the hate and intolerance this is already prevalent in our community.
Your post reeks of bigotry. There is no "gay agenda". Being gay is not a choice. People are gay because they are born that way, or to use language you will understand, because God made them that way.
How many times must this be repeated before it sinks in?
Ok, let's start over. Please, explain to me EXACTLY why your are so "disgusted".
This is much bigger than just a question of whether or not society should be more tolerant of the homosexual lifestyle. Over past years we have seen unrelenting pressure from advocates of that lifestyle to accept as normal what is not normal, and to characterize those who disagree as narrow-minded, bigoted and unreasonable. Such advocates are quick to demand freedom of speech and thought for themselves, but equally quick to criticize those with a different view and, if possible, to silence them by applying labels like “homophobic.”
"Don't ask, don't tell" is a great policy to avoid hatred and discrimination.. better than letters to the editor, school clubs, or "one" day of silence.
..and yes nobody likes bullies.
Maybe you are being labeled as homophobic because you are.
Statements such as "homosexual lifestyle" and "accept as normal what is not normal" only prove that you are.
There is no homosexual lifestyle. They come from all walks of life - liberal, conservative, white, black, blue collar, white collar, Christian, non-Christian, etc etc...
They are naturally occurring entities that that have been around since pre-historic times. Prior to the domination of the Western world by Christianity (and its "death to gays" dogma), homosexuality was widely accepted in both the Greek and Roman cultures (as well as many others , I'm sure).
So, if you don't want to be labeled as narrow-minded, bigoted, and unreasonable, then stop acting narrow-minded, bigoted, and unreasonable!
You people make me sick. If the schools had sung happy birthday to the pope yesterday no one would be complaining. You religious types have abused the Bible and interpreted its scripture to the point of achieving your own means through "the word of god".
Whatever happened to "love thy neighbor" or "treat one as you would want to be treated"? It doesn't say "love thy neighbor, unless he's gay". It doesn't say, "thou shalt not kill, unless it's a gay guy". You people forget the actual messages the Bible is trying to spread in moments like this. I know this, and I don't even go to church!!!!
Ever met a Gay christian? If you go to church with more than 10 men in it, at least one of them is gay. Would you stop going to church if you knew there were gay members in it?
boombam1215: "If you go to church with more than 10 men in it, at least one of them is gay."
Probably not. Insofar as a church condemns homosexuality, gays and lesbians will not feel welcome there. They will find some other, more tolerant, place to worship -- or they will abandon religion entirely. It baffles me to think that any churchgoers would be happy with this result.
newsreader- if this is about exposing the hate and intolerance then answer my question in my previous post. Give me specific examples of criminal harrasment towards gays by christians. There has always been bullying and there will most likely always be, I don't condone it and I teach my children that it is unnacceptable. I don't understand why we need a public DOS to get the point out and that also highlights the gay agenda.
Your statement that being gay is a choice is not believed by all. I don't believe it either. And even if it were true, it doesn't mean that I have to accept it and embrace it with tolerance. Aren't there serial killers and child molesters that were born to be such? Should we accept and tolerate them because they were born that way?
If you want to be gay more power to ya, but keep it away from me!
Oh, okay, now you compare being gay to being a serial killer or a child molester. Yep, you're right, no narrow-minded unreasonable bigotry in that comparison! *HAH*
Did you bother to read the testimonial from mike5816 that was posted yesterday at 5:02 pm? http://newsminer.com/news/2008/apr/15/co...
Last night I spoke with a bi-sexual girl who lives in this town and went to high school here. She was ostracized, picked on, bullied, and had friends who were attacked.
For many of these gay kids, EVERY DAY IS A DAY OF SILENCE because folks like you are promoting your ANTI-GAY agenda.
By the way, what "gay agenda" do you think they are pushing here? Because the agenda that I heard was tolerance and respect. Is there something wrong with American citizens wanting tolerance and respect?
Alright whtaidiak - I answered your question, now you answer mine.
Please, explain to me EXACTLY why your are so "disgusted".
wthaidiak,
"...If you want to be gay more power to ya, but keep it away from me!"
Would that I could but I can't (and neither can anyone else). I'm beginning to agree with 'newsreader' in this regard, those who are Gay can't help it. I don't think it is a choice for them. I do occasionally slip and use the word "Lifestyle" and this probably does